She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
