so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
