Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
