dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
