How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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