do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
