And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
