I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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