There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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