I must be too annoying 4 u.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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