Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
