hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
