Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
