remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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