if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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