They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
