Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need to align my fucking chakras
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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