I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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