My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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