Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
