the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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