It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
