i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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