I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't deserve a penis
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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