After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
