I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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