No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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