i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
