Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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