Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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