If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
