I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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