People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
