youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm sobbing to NWA
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Congratulations! We have a period
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