everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can't turn off my feet"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
