Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
