ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
