redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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