Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
