so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
