Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
