Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
