Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
