Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Still dying that you shit outside
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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