I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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