it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
