If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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