I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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