I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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