I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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